The Possimpible

1.1984

2.Deception Point

3. Catch 22

4. Slaughterhouse Five

5. (currently reading) Eldest

**more to come! :)

After summer has gone by for about 2 or 3 weeks now I have realized that there really aren’t any summer-y blogs I put up. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because I  really haven’t done much over the summer. I do one of two things on a daily basis.

• Lay out by the pool and work on my nice brown tan I have going on at the moment
• Be a workaholic and work 50+ hours in two weeks time. 

Somewhere in that mix I manage to fit in reading and my normal teen time on the computer and eating and all the vital things I need to live.  Over the past few days I have been analyzing my life and what is going to become of it. Right now, one of my closest friends is moving out o the country for college, and ll my other friends are going to be scattered along the east coast. I know I have talked about this a lot because well, I feel really repetitive right now and keep getting deja vu while typing. I think this is showing me that I need to make new friends, and quickly. I mean don’t get me wrong I love my current friends, but sometimes I feel like I am under-appreciated and that I don’t mean as much to them as they do to me. I don’t want to sound “woe is me” right now because that definitely isn’t my nature at all.

I just feel as if I go out of my all the time to keep every person in my life happy and close to me and work so hard to keep our lives going in the same direction while they are barely lifting a finger. The funny thing is I don’t even feel this way all the time. Sometimes I find myself perfectly happy with my life and friends and I really truly believe that is it is great. I still believe that. I think I find myself wanting to live in the past where I felt more comfortable, or at least to combine certain aspects of the past and the present is what I am looking for. I like the way my life was in 10th grade and certain parts of senior year. If I could combine those for the summer I think that would be my ideal state before I go to college. 

While on the subject of college, I think I have been getting extra anxious. I want the summer to last as long as possible, but at the same time I think I just want to get going already with college and just skip all the goodbyes. If this is going to happen why can’t it just get over with and done already so I can start my next major aspect of life?

Well, I am finally 18 now. An adult. I don’t think it has even hit me yet because to be completely honest. It doesn’t feel any different than being 17. In fact, I actually forgot I was 18 today. Maybe it will hit in a day or so, or when I get to college. My friends gave me a surprise party. I couldn’t believe it I was actually surprised. I had mentioned to them a couple times how I had never had a surprise party before and kind of wanted one. I didn’t think they would actually remember but they did and it made me so happy. they totally fooled me and I couldn’t stop smiling. I love my friends so much. It is the things like that that make it hard for me to be 100% excited for college. I already told them that I was going to attack them all with texts and on facebook and video chats frequently so they had to be ready for it haha.

18. Not sure if I should think this is weird or cool.

I failed at the song a day thing. Oh well. I kept forgetting.